Wednesday, the First of July

Forgive the tone of the title, for as ordinary a day as it may be, it is wholly significant in my view. Somewhere between last night and this morning 2009 came to its halfway point. In other words, there is just half of 2009 left, and I cannot help but think to myself: wait, has it even fully started?!? Yes, it is a matter of perspective; many may feel the year could not have been going slower given their circumstances, and want it to come to a close quickly because that would herald a better situation in general. I confess I share a little of that too - every second that passes brings me, or rather us, nearer to better things than these. Yet it is the very essence of my being to live for the moment, and each moment that passes becomes another memory. In my experience, the good ones outnumber the shit-hits-the-fan ones by a comfortable margin. Today is no exception, not only for having spent an evening out at dinner and a film, but also because I'm glad to have had my sentiments about work in the armed echoed by my boss, despite me "earning" a tenth of what she does - I'd be content to be in my seat at my desk in front of the computer from 8 to 5, but kindly don't make me do anything otherwise.

Some of my closest friends exited the armed forces today. These include my medical brethren and the oms scholars. I've mentioned that I had wanted to further my studies this year, and it occurred to me recently that perhaps there were other avenues I could have pursued, including these but not limited to them. The appeal process that was successful for Durham (and unsuccessful for Oxford I might add) could have been applied to the 3 other schools in the UK which were in my UCAS list (I'm reminded of this because of the final Royal Mail letter I received today) but didn't. How easy would it be to think that oh, maybe I should have done that. But no, I won't, not because I think it would have been futile or because it makes me feel better for not having done so, but simply because, as life has shown me, there is a finality to things which, with time, makes things fall into place in ways unanticipated. The fact that the cycles have opened again emphatically lets me know that, not only has my cycle closed, but that it is time to start afresh without the baggage of the previous attempt, because it was, for all intents and purposes, the only way I would and could have done it, and I certainly would not have traded it at that time for any substitute. The same philosophy for all of life.