i can't even begin to count the hours i've spent in school or the days when i've not thought about anything else but the extracts.
each and everyone was annotated, then annotated again, annotated on a secondary copy, then read over, cross-referenced, structured and thesis-ed.
and when wednesday/thursday came, i stressed, found confidence, felt uneasy, summoned up the resolve to put my books down, and then collapsed and read through everything for the 73481098276469304726th time.
then i woke up this morning, felt sick to my stomach, forced all negative thoughts out of my head, watched the Olympics, and went to school with nothing but anticipation.
i headed to class 'cos i needed to be around the familiar, pumped myself up more and went to the boardroom.
i chose the second extract closest to me, saw it was Frost's Mending Wall, and started writing.
those 20 minutes were the clearest, most unfrazzled i've had in a long time.
everything came together, and i went to meet Mrs. Goh, my conduit.
we spoke about some stuff, i collected my thoughts, we said a prayer, did a sound check, and then i started.
"English A1 Higher Level IOC Examination 2008. My Name is John Leo Caines. My Candidate Session Number is 002329-198. My extract is a poem written by Robert Frost entitled Mending Wall."
I took a deep breath, and the next 15 minutes were a blur.
"Robert Frost's contemporary American philosophy was very much an existential one, exploring the interactions between man and nature......."
12 minutes of uninterrupted commentary, 4 questions, and at 15.04, i said my last word.
as i heard the recording playback, i smiled at how it turned out.
Mrs. Goh and I talked a little more about the poem and my commentary, she wished me on my way, and I said thanks, which was all that i was feeling at that moment, for the poem, for the lessons, for those 15 minutes.
and as i went out, i wished Patrick and Sarah good luck, laughed with Paul who had his during the same time as i did, reveled in the post-speech high in the SAC with some of my classmates, and took a lift home.
i'm done, and 50% of my English A1 grade, the subject for which a 7 is worth more than any other, is accounted for.
and now the Prelims.
3 weeks of study, then the penultimate test.
