Can you say TRAUMATIC?

There is no force strong enough to inspire in me even the slightest enthusiasm to complete a task while at work. Each time this malaise hits me, my mind is immediately drawn to how different it is when I'm working in church. At church, there is a wholeness, completeness of satisfaction and contentment when I do stuff, even if it is physically demanding and unimaginably tough. Because the purpose is sure and, in every instance, the camaraderie shared is borne out first of this same purpose and second of friendship.

You asked what it was about

So that question alone, directed at me, demands that I answer.

"You know the sunlight always shines/behind the clouds of..."

If I continue it'd be too obvious

[update]

your need to vent is uncommon enough to make it worth my notice. and a reminder of you when I chanced upon those braziliano(s?).

The most significant weekend

has been 3 days in which I've oscillated between sheer relief, being at peace with the world and cursing and swearing at my own carelessness. The roaring twenties as they call it. Turning the big 20 has been nothing short of momentous. Truth be told, a friend's friendship is worth much more than any one moment, any whole day to myself, any effort that is required, remedial, or better, for greater intimacy and trust.

That my birthday has been sandwiched right in its middle has, to my mind, been wonderfully poignant, at least in a way that has granted me the greatest degree of enjoyment in what otherwise has been a coasting-from-weekend-to-another existence. And already I can't wait for Friday.

The best bits? Above-and-beyond relief to joy abandon with 21 amazing friends, even those who came after a whole day at work. And another who couldn't make it but called right around midnight nonetheless. Taboo to lend part of the name to a friend's Facebook photo album. An initialed Facebook event that was dress rehearsal for the 21st? Supper at Simpang, dinner at East Point, small familiar frisbee group, katong chicken rice lunch, Koi.

Maybe just one more. Just because. And also to help the passage of time, to lessen the regret. But the more probable stares me in the face as an online alert has just presented itself.

I sleep 4 hours a day

Usually between the hours of 12 and 4. And I unfortunately start this pattern on a Sunday night, turning in at midnight after having excellent company at a lackluster film only to find out, very soon, that 4 in the morning, contrary to gwen stefani's similarly titled song, is not much to sing about. Tuesday I must have Rochor Tau Huay with the same folk.

monster - tired

I treasure my Saturdays as the only days in the week where I can either spend more than 2 hours at home not sleeping or have the space to make plans. Today, however, with church commitments, I only get to do that now, after much difficulty dragging my sleep-deprived self out of bed, and because I didn't want to kill myself, I didn't rush to watch ac debate. Last night as I veg-ed out with a to-go Starbucks I reflected on how I have 573086501735219 things to do before I turn 20 at midnight exactly a week from today.

In the middle of a weekend

The weekend, which in my head starts on Friday and ends on Sunday, finds its equilibrium somewhere on Saturday evening. Saturday is usually the day in which the time is freed up for making appointments with friends or with self. And, like this evening, I am afforded the time to complete the second of a 2-post blog-day on this, the 10th (double digits!) of April. 2 weeks until I celebrate turning 20, probably at home).

We are the people everyone wants to be

Because truth be told, for us, success is a given. It's really a matter of what degree we decide to take it to. Here's the whole point about relativity, and also where all the criticisms about elitism that are leveled at us ring with some semblance of believability. Yet like I've said, we're elite, not elitist. Chances are, you're part of this "we". Some more so than others.

Afternoon Delight

I approached the Sistic counter to check if there were any tickets left for Jamie Cullum's showcase this coming Tuesday; only 1 ticket worth $150 left.

I completely skipped the 4th of april post

Yesterday I went to sunrise service for the first time, but in the wet and the cold I was distracted; my more earthly purposes of supporting a friend and scouting a potential WL were fulfilled. Nevertheless it was only today when I read the passage in Luke about the Resurrection to the Ascension did the "very early in the morning" bit hit me as being incredibly significant.

Yesterday I reached the point where I had exactly 7 more months to go through.

Yesterday I had found what I had long suspected to be true: the best conversations happen in the seats of cars and over unplanned 3-hour long dinners. Smaller groups preferable.

I have american idol to thank

or rather, Randy Jackson for introducing "pedestrian" to my list of description of things. "Titans was so pedestrian, only Sam Worthington's accent was nice." "The drumming was pedestrian, it lacked both heart and feel." To this new word I add my own, "sedentary", which has the same effect of shrinking the recipient down to realistic size. Thank you AMI.

For me, the most uneducated of soccer viewers, I found this line in the commentary very entertaining:

"Vidic's muscular presence prevented Drogba from finishing what would normally be for him an easy header."

What the hell is a muscular presence?

If there's a backdate, there's gotta be a backtime

You want to spend as much time with that person or group of friends, just 'cos the conversation feels so comfortable. The questions are those that, if posed by someone else you'd find contrived and meaningless, but from that person you know it's completely genuine, and you find yourself opening up more than with anyone else. There is laughter in their company, shared inside jokes and stories and open confessions of history, and so much common understanding about things that others just won't get. You wish more of the group could have been there, but the more-than-regular regulars are enough.

It is a warm Good Friday afternoon, and you thank God for salvation, for the life it brings. For simple things like that bus ride, that walk, that lunch. For the lazy tweets between multiple friends thrown across the island but discussing multiple common things at the same time, maybe even punctuated by a nap that is in actuality part of the dialogue.

And all too soon 2 days of April have gone by, and 2 more free ones lie waiting to be discovered, experienced and lived.

Maundy Thursday wasn't too depressing

2 things that make me sad:

1. when the battery meter on my phone or iPod fall below maximum.

2. when I, utterly unintended, land myself in awkwardness.

I would have typed out a chapter from the gospel according to Luke, but it seems this transpired instead.