Early in the Morning

The opening lines of Bandslam:
"Monday mornings are entirely irrelevant in Cincinnati... and then there's school. Or more accurately, Guantanamo and the Lunch Period."

How apt, I found.

And so it was that I had planned with all my human will to wake up as close to when I normally wake up for work as possible, so that I would feel satisfied at using every non-working minute at my own choosing; then it dawned upon me that nothing is really open that early, and so I slept in a little longer, Facebooked thereafter (what else does one do with some hours of nothing to do) and read the papers before finally leaving the house to to go through my list of things to do/places to go - Breakfast and the above movie, Borders sale and lunch, check out Mac Mini and other stand-alone CPUs for my possible purchasing, meet friends for dinner and drinks at Holland Village. Can't say I would have felt any better if I had indeed left the house at some ridiculous hour; after all, I have my fair share of that on an alarmingly regular basis already.

It does bug me that I'm unable to put something cooler after the usual "John, 19, ________"; somehow even though virtually everyone else that's important to me goes through the same stuff doesn't make it seem any less of time spent in an unreal reality, an Unreality. Previously it had been meant to be an undulation in the course of my life; then it was meant to be fully embraced in all fulfillment and success; now, it's just the passage of time, and rather uncomfortably at that.

For you, and you, and you too

I read, and I thought that it might be nice to be where you are, achieving something, getting somewhere, moving forward, perhaps without too much worry about the near and immediate future.

A free day's thoughts that make a Fall collection.
4 months to make it the entire thing even better.

You, smiling with your eyes closed, arms around me

What I won't show.

A cheesecake, some pizza, table tennis, Wii and Aston's; ingredients for a birthday spent well.
Just an hour or so at Barossa with classmates (without an afternoon of LAN), not for the sake of it, but because it just feels right being around them regularly.
Piecing together my vision for YAM Camp '09 Worship, after seeing the premises.
Looking forward to YMLC and getting in touch once again.
One more day to myself; 2 more after August ends, to bring me all the way to the last day of September.

Then the fourth and final quarter of 2009.

A Song Flung Up To Heaven

Well, not quite; I'm only at "Gather Together In My Name" (a little passage below), and already I want to get to that sixth volume in Maya Angelou's autobiography. This might be punctuated by a reading of Kazuo Ishiguro's "The Remains Of The Day" because it comes with high recommendation from Paul.

"I was nearly nineteen, had a baby, responsibilities and no real profession. I could cook Creole and was a fast, friendly cocktail waitress. Also I was qualified as an absentee madam, but I somehow felt that I simply had not yet "found out my niche..."

How absurdly timely.

The injustice of one pearl swallowed and not enjoyed through chewing

The perils of being double-booked; I genuinely hate the sensation of being in a position where I've gotta choose. Please let this weekend work itself out!

Thinking in numbers, expressing in words

Dates, times, number of blog posts and Facebook Notes; what I Tweet, finding how to say it on Tumblr; whether it should be brief, detailed, a Meme. I suppose the art of online articulation, given its virtuality, makes translation from reality a challenge, one that can be welcome or insufferable.

I flip the calendar from Sunday, 23/8 to Monday, 24/8 and marvel that we are at the last week of Aug'09. I walk past the NLB building and STB, attend a dialogue at the URA Centre and browse the Brightsparks publication in Borders. I get asked about disruption at work and term starting at play, and remind both others and myself of where I am at. "Measured" was how I described it. Deliberate would be my ideal choice, though poorly understood in an SMS.

There's no school work to worry about like last time when tonight would be filled with thoughts of assignments or tests or lessons unprepared for. All I do is fold the sleeves of my cabbage inspired garb. I take the rare afternoon nap after starting on a second Maya Angelou novel at an al fresco Starbucks. There are no sounds of a familiar frisbee game, or chatter over Sunday lunch.

I'm left to my thoughts and expressions; I think I could/want to write.

Good Morning Singapore

There was this point during the NDR Dialogue session this evening when the Minister of State was commenting on immigration policy with regards to foreign talent and increased competition where he paused and said, "But wait - this doesn't apply to you; you don't have to compete anymore." How true.

It is a worrying trend - I've missed scheduled meetings with friends more in the past 3 weeks than I have in the rest of the year! I shall remind myself of these so that I break it:
1) missing lunch with the classmates on Sat 8 Aug
2) missing The Hangover with Team C
3) missing dinner with paul/daryl/chongwee/arjun this monday due to overtime work (I would have been terrible company)
4) missing District 9 and L4D with the classmates, see reason for 3)
5) missing dinner this evening with Daryl (since Mel couldn't join the two of us, I had dinner with Team C instead)

I bought a second item from Uniqlo. I wonder if a regular club-goer crew would be an interesting addition to my social circle. I've not kept in contact with my school "neighbours" who took the same school bus as I did to ACJS back in the day. We should have neighbourly gatherings or something, which I've never had 'cos I've never lived in the east (the church folk) or the west (the school ppl).

Reunion tomorrow. It seems only natural to capitalize and go out with friends before or after. I'm thinking of a late lunch with some, then dinner with some others. And finally have an entire Saturday morning to myself if I can wake up before afternoon arrives.

Good Morning.

Oh crap, I double-clicked

I have this bad habit of gardening my cellphone's messages when I have a few minutes on my hand. The same goes when sending texts, be it on mobile or on web networks; I usually take some time to think about how I will sound. As a friend once rightly pointed out, I don't do very well with the whole multi-tasking thing when one of the multi-Tasks is to text.

Another friend once pointed out that guys don't like coins. Apparently it's got something to do with how our wallets don't store coins fashionably. I admit I have days when I can be a coin Nazi. Like seriously go out of my way to get rid of these. But today I decided to consciously not do that when I had some coins on my person at the end of the day (not because I didn't plan my coin expenditure, which I did; I was totally ripped off when NTUC charged me 15 cents for the temperature of my bottled tea).

I'm kinda seriously considering if I should visit the UK come Fall; if only because going someplace where I might eventually spend a lot of my academic time in when many of my peers are doing the same could give this year a bit of a kick.

A Sunday Defying

It is a conscious effort to make each Sunday a Day Set Apart; I resolved to do so at about 3 last night after watching a BPL match (surprise surprise).

One of the few Sundays, and the first in a long time, without cell; could sleep in before second service. Lunch at Simpang ensued, chatting with Guo Nian in Shop'N'Save included, then Sunday afternoon frisbee at a fortunately peaceful Opera Estate field, being an oddly ostentatious player for once.

The Canopy Cafe at the Marina Bay Gold Course offers the single best view of the Singapore City Skyline. I'm still considering going to London to check out schools this Fall.

Of Opportunities, Dreams & Gravity

It's all about commensuration I suppose.

All you need to enjoy a Saturday is the simplest of pleasures; wake up 10 minutes to 12noon, throw on a trusty pair of jeans (complete with well-worn tears (NOT the fake distressed look you buy from a shop!) and the odd stain from a day/night out before), join 2 ex-classmates at one's place which we've been to countless times before, and hunker down to play com (you'll probably never hear me say that out loud). That's what I'd call a lazy afternoon.

Wad'up Weekend

Around this time last week I had just finished supper at Barracks. This weekend is decidedly shorter.

Staring at the calendar

I find myself thinking that Thursday is the new midweek. I like how it sits in the middle of my one-week calendar, neatly positioned as a bookmark between what I've been through and what I will.

In my phone I've only set reminders for 3 days for the rest of the year: Sept 5-7 for YMLC. I don't usually like planning too far ahead since I can't really see it. Maybe I should set Dec 10-13 for YAM Camp since that's more or less set in stone. I look forward to these 2 events, which when added to church camp in June would make 3 trips up North this year. Should I add West to the list this Fall?

Another Again

It could be any given Tuesday night, in any given week of any given month in any given year.
Maybe you finished school and thought the day was the longest in forever.
Or went through it successfully dodging something.
Or maybe stood silent or shared in private the realization of some wise counsel.
Or, just maybe, decided to be thankful in all things as they are, as they were, and as they will be.

It's been a long time since I had Sugi Cookies at the old, unrenovated Bedok Corner with the musketeers.
It's been a long time since I sat with my classmates on the couch of a hotel in Manila listening to T.I. on loop.
It's been a long time since I've sat at a desk with a pencil case and prayed for peace before a paper.
It's not been that long since I last thought about why I don't have the option of studying this year.
And it's been about the same time since I last came to terms with knowing what I want now, or wanted, will give way to something more spectacular.

At this minute, I'm thinking of what could have and should have been. Or maybe it was just what I wanted so badly. Too badly, in fact, that has made me all the more unstable in these circumstances.

At this minute, I will remember that the freedom to choose matters more that this. And that I have whispered silently before, and continue to do so in quiet resolution, that I freely give this choice up to the will of One greater than I am.

Can You Tell Who?/There Was No Parade

The trick to really embracing the "long" in long weekend is to spend the extra day really intensively and think of the remaining 2 days as the actual weekend. For example, I think of today as Saturday, so my weekend has just started. I'll wake up tomorrow with the same feelings as I do on a Sunday.

I rarely miss gatherings with friends. I really do my best to show up. Yesterday I couldn't meet Gerald and gang for lunch because I was held up in church for YAM Comm meeting in church. The Dempsey outing of the previous night meant I couldn't meet my target of waking up early to enjoy the morning before the meeting; I was in fact late. This morning was slightly better, seeing as my parents usually attend the first service time slot and I'm made to wake up early to travel with them. Lunch yesterday was instead spent leisurely with the Comm at the ubiquitous Siglap Yong Tau Fu joint. Face painting later, we joined FL for frisbee, putting our regular Sunday Opera Estate skills to work. Daphne Audrey and I drove to Cold Storage in between. Dinner was with adriel/louis/abby/colleen at Bedok Corner. I managed to book badminton courts for tomorrow.

I applaud Pet most of all for the choice of music last night. I'm dutifully listening to Jeremy Monteiro and gang's Jazz interpretation of cultural tunes usually associated with the NDP (Chan Mali Chan et. al.) Maybe I'll get to watch some of the parade from the esplanade before dinner with sean later and then spot Ron at his city march. I think I will get to watch GIJOE tomorrow. For once I'm not organizing the .11 gathering tomorrow. The turnout is good, looking forward to seeing everyone.

I realized having Sunday lunch with church friends can just be for that purpose: to have lunch. It was with Jeremy and Guo Nian today. We were at Seng Kang because the others were there to watch the Frisbee Singapore Open. That's one of 3 reasons why there isn't Frisbee today. I found out there was a Hillsong concert this year which I didn't attend. We are thinking of going for the Conference in Australia next July. The youtube/FB publicity video makes it look awesome. I think it'll be even better.

There's an ACIB Class of 2008 reunion next next week. I hope my class gets to meet up next week despite the AHM. I might actually be running another charity endurance run the following sunday. It's almost a year since the Nike Human Race.

It's been almost a year since I finished school. My friends start University this Tuesday after the long weekend. I have another appointment (with destiny?) I want to start school, or maybe teach, tutor or coach. Learning to drive has slipped down my priority list. Sometimes I find myself disliking contingencies or responding to hypothetically possible consequences or outcomes becomes it somehow means I've failed, somehow, or like I'm giving up.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think 2009 is ending. I wonder if I want to savour the rest of it. I want it to be worth savoring.

August The Seventh

Otherwise known as the eve of the eve of National Day. It probably means more to my year now that many of us are actually in the thick of it. Plus as I've been asked, I do like the Electrico track. What more could one ask for than a longish weekend.

Monday: Public Enemies with Ronald and Elendrus
Tuesday: BSF Intro with Ronald
Thursday: Paul's 19th at Pepperoni/IslandCreamery/Starbucks with Darius+Sean
Friday: Dempsey with WeiGe/Darius

Tear Down The Walls

Leviticus 26:6(b), "...and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid."

Hello midweek, a Wednesday of reckoning perhaps?

An August First

Spent with the IP kids, and 04 was most represented. Cycling at East Coast in the day is hell compared to the empty paths of post-midnight cycling during those heady post-IB days.